Diane’s eggs hatched in early May.

Jack and Diane are a pair of Peregrine Falcons that have taken up residence on the Manhattan skyscraper where I work. The building management, possibly the coolest and most progressive corporation on earth, constructed a plexiglas birdhouse for them, and installed two closed circuit cameras, transmitting the images to a TV in the lobby. For those of you who qualify as “hip” (and you know who you are), you may recognize “Jack and Diane” as the name of a John Cougar Mellencamp song. (Did I mention how COOL the building owners are?)

After weeks of incubation, four youngsters emerged, with a fifth one hatching almost a week later. The camera was switched from lateral to overhead so we could watch them huddled together, and observe them being fed. As much as I love living on the edge of the wild, I guess there are advantages to city living. Especially when you have a rent-free penthouse apartment, and you are never far away from a wide choice of fast foods. You’d be surprised how many McPigeons it takes to feed a Falcon family of seven.

Over the next few weeks, Eeney, Meeney, Miney, Mo and Mutt practically doubled in size every week. No longer required to sit on eggs for hours on end, one parent or the other would stand outside the house, but constantly on guard, never taking their eyes off the brood. As weeks passed, the fluffy white fuzzballs began to look and act more like real birds, even bravely venturing outside the shelter of the inner nest. Occasionally, Robert DeCandido, of the Urban Park Rangers, would come by to check on them, drop off some flyers, dispel myths and answer questions. Bob has the best job in the world. He monitors the raptor population in NYC, and even gives guided Falcon Tours.

Five weeks after hatching, the kids are now in full blown adolescence. They are constantly preening to remove the down. Colored feathers are emerging rapidly, and they are spreading their wings in preparation for the Flyers Ed test. Diane’s once-tidy little nest is a mess. It’s littered with down and bird poop (I keep having déjà vu, remembering teenage bedrooms). The kids are rowdy and anxious to explore the edge of the ledge and beyond. The parent on duty is often seen sitting on the roof, as if trying to get a quiet moment away from the chaos. I can certainly relate! You have to wonder if Jack and Diane are contemplating the impending empty nest with regret, or are they saying, “ I can’t wait until these little moochers find jobs and move away!” I imagine Diane thinking, “Next time we’re getting a nanny!” Now comes the really hard part. Teaching them to fly on their own. Teaching them the skills they will need to survive in the big city jungle. Launching them to soar full speed into life and hoping nothing bad happens.

I think I’ll call my kids tonight.

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For more information on NYC falcons and red-tailed hawks, email Robert DeCandido, PhD at rdny@earthlink.net, or call the Parks Department on (212) 772-0210.

FALCON UPDATE: About a year later, I was advised that Diane had acquired arthritis, and was “retired” to Cornell University, where she will be cared for and will live comfortably for the remainder of her years. Over a thirteen year period, Diane consistently produced larger that normal clutches with a high survival rate. Many of her tagged offspring have been observed over the metropolitan NYC tri-state area. Jack now has a new mate, Jill.